Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In
- 3h 39m
- John Ullmen, Mark Goulston
- AMACOM
- 2013
People won't put up with being "sold" anymore. If they sense they are being pushed, their guard goes up - and even if they do comply, lingering resentment undermines the relationship ...maybe forever. Yet, most books on influence still portray it as something you "do to" someone else to get your way. That out-of-date approach invites resistance or cynicism from those who recognize the techniques. Manipulative tactics might occasionally wear down a colleague's or client's resistance, but they fail to produce the mutual trust that sustains successful relationships. In short, they just won't work in our sophisticated, post-selling world. In this groundbreaking book, authors Mark Goulston and John Ullmen reveal a new model for authentic influence - the kind that creates a strong initial connection and survives long after agreement has been reached. Based on listening, genuine engagement and commitment to win-win outcomes, Real Influence provides a powerful four-step method you can use to:
- examine your priorities;
- learn about the key players and what they need;
- earn their attention and motivate them to hear more;
- and, add value with your questions and actions.
Complete with examples of the steps in action and insights from real-world "power influencers," this one-of-a-kind guide shows that being straight with everyone means winning for all.
About the Authors
Mark Goulston, MD, is a business psychiatrist, consultant, chairman and cofounder of Heartfelt Leadership, and the author of Just Listen, Get Out of Your Own Way, and Get Out of Your Own Way at Work. He also writes a syndicated career column for Tribune Media Services; blogs for Fast Company, Business Insider, Huffington Post, and Psychology Today; and is featured frequently in major media, including The Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fortune, Newsweek, CNN, NPR, and Fox News. He lives in Los Angeles.
John Ullmen, Ph.D., is an acclaimed executive coach whose clients include dozens of leading international firms. He oversees MotivationRules.com, conducts popular feedback-based seminars on influence in organizations, and teaches at the UCLA Anderson School of Management.
In this Book
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The Dangers of “Disconnect”
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Four Traps That “Disconnect” You
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The Four Steps to Connecting and Influencing
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The First “R”: Go for a Great Result
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The Second “R”: Go for a Great Reputation
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The Third “R”: Go for Great Relationships
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To Discover Their There, Listen to the Music
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Master Level-Four Listening
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To Influence, Be Influenceable
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Use the Three Gets of Engage
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Push Their Buttons—Positively
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Engage Across Cultures
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Do More Before, During, and After
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Do More in All Three Value Channels
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Ask Other People to Do More
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Let Adversity Lead You to Great Outcomes
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Influence by Getting Out of the Way
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Influence Positively After You’ve Made Big Mistakes
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Let Gratitude Magnify Your Influence
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Case Study #1—A Fuzzy Rescue
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Case Study #2—Everything Matters
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Case Study #3—Poised for Life
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Case Study #4—Taming a Temperamental Group
